No Different Than...


No Different Than...

I have discovered that I am no different than the Israelites who were led out of exile by Moses.  I would like to believe that if I was led by Moses and seen with my own eyes the miracles God performed through him, that I would no longer fear, that I would not lose my faith, continually forgetting the strength, power, and love of our creator; I would like to think that I would stand firm in my faith, marching forward through any circumstance without hesitation. 


The reality is that I have experienced the presence of God and I have experienced his gentle words peeling away one layer at a time the things that I need to change, filling me with His truth. Yet, at each crisis or crossroad in my life, I hesitate.  I hesitate despite my faith, I hesitate despite my knowledge, and I hesitate despite my personal experience.

There is no escape from the human condition that wants desperately to cry out, “What about me!”.  The truth is, my life does not belong to me and the world does not revolve around me.  This life and this world revolve around and are only sustained by my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

My only goal in life should be to seek to become like Jesus so that I may have eternal life, not satisfying the worldly desires that seem to burn through me.  My desires can only be truly filled by the one who created me for His good glory.

I long for a marriage with God at the center.  I long for my husband to join me in seeking God’s Word to resolve a conflict between us or within our family.  I long for my husband to make an intentional effort to become one flesh with me in Jesus Christ.  But, the lives of this world and that of my family and husband do not revolve around me or my longings, no matter how good and noble my longings may be.  Sometimes it is a feat to swallow that pill after all these years of trying to be and do everything right.  

The hard truth is, no matter how good I try to be to others and the good works that may result are not what save me and promise me eternal life.  Rather, I should be good and do good and noble things with the life given to me without expecting a return on my investment.  My life must solely revolve around Jesus Christ and his purpose for my life.  Knowing this truth and believing this truth is much different than living out this truth. 

The human condition prevents me or anyone from accomplishing this feat on our own.  To live out a life that revolves around Jesus Christ requires that I become blind to myself and blind to my desires.  Living out a life that is completely blind to self requires intentionality that can only be achieved through the power and strength given by and received from the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ. 

I pray that Jesus will deliver me from all evil and the human condition that seems so intent on devouring me.  It is only through the strength of Jesus that I may be able to keep my eyes focused on him.  It is only through the strength of Jesus that I can live out a life blind to myself.  

It is only through the strength of Jesus that I can endure and persevere in all suffering, judge no one, and remain faithful to Christ and his purpose for my life. 

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