Quora Questions About NPD
As I scroll through the various questions on Quora, I have noticed
many that reference an ex-significant other as having narcissistic personality
disorder. It was not too long ago when I became more familiar with the term. At
the time I assumed it was used as an adjective to describe a personality type
or characteristic. Additionally, I believed Narcissism was a chosen tool someone
used by choice to manipulate and control others. I never really gave it much thought, at least
not until someone very dear to me was diagnosed with a personality disorder. It
was then that I began doing research and educating myself on the disorder.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental illness. I
assure you that no one chooses to have NPD and it is likely they are not aware
themselves, nor will they accept or appreciate the suggestion.
Narcissistic personality disorder can be the result of childhood
trauma. However, the event is not necessarily the result of what is considered
abuse. Many times, people with the disorder have very loving families and the event
that caused the trauma may be unknown by anyone. That is because the trauma that
was experienced occurred through the innocent eyes of a child in their limited
knowledge and understanding. In a child’s limited understanding of the world,
the event may have caused them to feel inadequate or set them apart from other
family members, such as other siblings; but it was in no way intentional. I hope this
information will help provide a better understanding and in some small way
contribute to healing.
One of the most frequent question asked is if a person knows
they have NPD. The answer is likely, no, and I do not recommend that anyone try
to convince someone they may have the disorder.
The very nature of the disorder will cause them to reject it and only
serve to make you a target of their wrath.
Another frequent question I have come across multiple
times ask how to cause someone with NPD the same pain they have
suffered. Let me ask, if you genuinely love a person, why would you want to
cause them to feel the same agonizing pain you yourself suffer? I can tell
you firsthand, being on the receiving end of the pain will turn your world upside
down but making a point does not fall within the definition of love nor will it
make you feel any better.
Vengeance is never the right response, and it is counterproductive.
Rather, God calls us to always respond to others with love and kindness. I came
across a very fitting statement of truth I want to share along with a couple
verses from God’s word.
“An eye for an eye will make the whole earth blind”
(Unknown)
I urge anyone suffering, to turn to God for comfort. He will comfort
you and strengthen you.
“On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if
he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning
coals on his head.”
Romans 12:20
“You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment
on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning
yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.”
Romans 2: 1 NIV
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